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The Kitchen

Recipes, party planning, cocktail infusions. The canned queso has been banished.

GROUND CHUCK KEEMA CURRY (with 14 oz Fire-Roasted Tomatoes) INGREDIENTS - 1 lb ground chuck - 2 tbsp oil - 1 large onion, finely diced - 4 cloves garlic, minced - 1 tbsp fresh ginger, grated WHOLE SPICES - 1 tsp cumin seeds - 1 tsp coriander seeds (lightly crushed if whole) - 4 green cardamom pods, cracked - 1 cinnamon stick - 3 cloves - 1 bay leaf GROUND SPICES - 1 tsp turmeric - 1 tsp garam masala - 1 tsp paprika or Kashmiri chili - 1/2 tsp cayenne (optional) OTHER - 1 large 14 oz can fire-roasted tomatoes - 1/2 cup peas (optional) - 0 to 1/4 cup water or broth, only if needed - Salt to taste - 2 to 3 tbsp cream OR 2 tbsp sour cream (off heat) OR 1 tbsp cream cheese METHOD 1. Heat oil in a large skillet or pan over medium heat. 2. Add whole spices: cumin seeds, coriander seeds, cardamom, cinnamon stick, cloves, bay leaf. Cook 30 seconds until fragrant. 3. Add onion with a pinch of salt. Cook 8 to 10 minutes until golden brown. 4. Add garlic and ginger. Cook 1 minute. 5. Add ground chuck. Break it up and cook until browned well. 6. Add ground spices: turmeric, garam masala, paprika/chili, cayenne if using. Stir 30 seconds. 7. Add entire can of fire-roasted tomatoes. Break up chunks with spoon. Simmer uncovered 10 to 15 minutes, stirring occasionally. 8. Add peas if using. Add a splash of water/broth only if too thick. Simmer another 5 to 10 minutes. 9. Lower heat. Stir in cream. (If using sour cream, remove from heat first.) 10. Taste and adjust salt. If too acidic, add a tiny pinch of sugar. SERVE - Over basmati rice - With naan - With yogurt if desired TARGET TEXTURE Thick, rich, spoonable, not watery.
Tue, Apr 21, 10:34 PM
ORANGE JULIUS BASE — make Thursday night Goal: 12 servings, blendable to order. Base pitcher (NO cream, NO ice): 22 oz creamsicle vodka (2.75 cups) 44 oz fresh OJ (5 cups and 4 oz — one large bottle) 11 oz creamsicle simple syrup (1.25 cups) Shake or stir until combined. Refrigerate in a labeled pitcher: "ORANGE JULIUS BASE — add cream + ice + blend." Waitress instructions (print on a card): Pour 6 oz base + 2 oz half and half into blender with a scoop of ice. Blend until frothy. Pour into coupe or rocks glass. Garnish with an orange slice or leave bare. You can pre-portion the cream into 2 oz cups beforehand if you want to remove even that step — it makes the pour muscle-memory instead of measurement.
Tue, Apr 14, 8:11 PM
Then the dollar store: Cheap frames (glittery, gaudy, Real Housewives energy — don't undercut the gag with tasteful) Fancy envelopes for the rounds (heavy paper, interesting texture) Check for wax seal stickers or fancy labels Chocolate sprinkles if they have them (saves you a grocery stop) Stay focused. Frames and envelopes. Maybe sprinkles. That's it. Then the liquor store (right next door): 1 bottle gin 2 bottles prosecco or cava 1 bottle plain vodka 1 small bottle Kahlúa Another creamsicle vodka if you're low Grocery run later or another day: Fresh OJ, half and half, 4-5 lemons, decaf espresso ground, chocolate sprinkles if the dollar store didn't have them
Tue, Apr 14, 8:09 PM
THE NIGHT-OF TIMELINE: Thursday night (the night before): Make Orange Julius base (chill) Make French 75 base (chill) Make simple syrup if needed Juice lemons Pre-rim coupes with chocolate sprinkles and chill them on a tray Pre-portion cream into 2 oz cups if you want Friday morning: Brew decaf espresso, cool Mix Espresso Martini batch Set out all three pitchers/jars with printed instruction cards Set out the blender, ice bucket, shaker(s), coupe tray Friday afternoon (waitress arrival): Walk them through each card once Show them where ice, garnishes, and glasses live Tell them about the "shake like Marlowe" energy for the espresso They're off and running
Tue, Apr 14, 8:07 PM
NON-ALC VERSIONS — make a smaller pitcher for 2-3 servings of each so whoever isn't drinking can have the same drink in shape: Orange Julius Non: 20 oz OJ + 5 oz simple syrup, labeled "NO VODKA OJ BASE" French 75 Non: Just keep sparkling lemonade or sparkling water + lemon slices + simple syrup in a carafe. Pour over ice in a flute. Espresso Non: Smaller jar of cooled decaf + cream + simple syrup, labeled "NO VODKA ESPRESSO"
Tue, Apr 14, 8:06 PM
ESPRESSO MARTINI BASE — make Friday morning Goal: 10 servings. This one has to be mixed Friday because the espresso goes flat/weird if it sits too long in the alcohol. Friday morning: Brew a whole pot of decaf espresso (need about 10 oz cooled). Cool in the fridge. Friday afternoon, mix: 15 oz plain vodka (1.75 cups + 2 tablespoons) 5 oz Kahlúa 10 oz cooled decaf espresso 2.5 oz simple syrup (optional — taste and adjust) Shake the whole batch in a large jar, refrigerate. Label: "ESPRESSO MARTINI — SHAKE HARD before pouring." Coupe prep (can do Friday morning): Pour a shallow layer of chocolate syrup (or melted chocolate, or honey) on one small plate Pour chocolate sprinkles on another Dip each coupe rim in the syrup, then in the sprinkles Set aside on a tray in the fridge Waitress instructions: Shake the Espresso Martini bottle HARD for 10 seconds. Pour 3 oz into a pre-rimmed coupe. Sprinkle a few extra chocolate sprinkles on top of the foam. Serve. The hard shake is what gives it the signature foam. Tell them to shake it like they're mad at it. That's the instruction. "Shake it like Marlowe Steele-Fontaine is about to expose the zoning scandal." They'll get it.
Tue, Apr 14, 8:06 PM
FRENCH 75 BASE — make Thursday night Goal: 10 servings, shake-and-top to order. Base pitcher: 10 oz gin (1.25 cups) 5 oz fresh lemon juice (about 4-5 lemons juiced) 2.5 oz simple syrup (5 tablespoons — make a small batch of plain simple syrup, or use lavender in a pinch) Stir. Refrigerate in a labeled pitcher: "FRENCH 75 BASE — shake with ice, strain into flute, top with bubbles." Sparkling wine stays in the fridge. DO NOT pre-mix. Waitress instructions: Pour 1.75 oz base into a shaker with ice. Shake 5-8 seconds. Strain into champagne flute. Top with 3 oz cold prosecco. Garnish with a lemon twist from the bowl. If the shaking feels like too much for a waitress to do 13 times a night, you can skip the shake entirely and just stir the base with a bar spoon over ice in a mixing glass, strain, top. Less foam but nobody will know the difference in a room full of murder suspects.
Tue, Apr 14, 8:05 PM
🍞 HOMEMADE CROUTONS — Step by Step 1. Preheat oven to 375°F 2. Cut day-old bread into 3/4-inch cubes (about half a loaf gives you plenty for 12 people) 3. Toss in a big bowl with: 3 tablespoons olive oil, 2 cloves minced garlic (or 1/2 tsp garlic powder), 1/2 tsp salt, 1/2 tsp Italian herbs (oregano, thyme, whatever you have), pinch of black pepper 4. Spread in a SINGLE LAYER on a sheet pan — don't crowd them or they steam instead of crisp 5. Bake 12-15 minutes, tossing halfway through, until golden and crunchy 6. Cool completely on the pan — they crisp up more as they cool 7. Store in an open container (NOT sealed — they'll go soft) Add to the caesar salad right before serving so they stay crunchy. The responsible choice. 🥗🐝👔
Sat, Mar 21, 6:05 PM
🍸 ALL THREE DRINK RECIPES — MATTIA'S 20TH THE SUN BEAM ☀️ (full batch, punch bowl) 1 bottle moscato (sweet/semi-sweet) 6 cups ginger ale 2 cups vodka 12 oz can frozen pink lemonade concentrate 1 cup triple sec 1 cup cranberry juice Edible glitter Mix EVERYTHING except ginger ale. Chill. Add ginger ale + glitter right before serving. Cranberry-lime ice mold in the bowl. LAVENDER VODKA LEMONADE 💜 (full batch, pitcher) 2 cups vodka 1.5 cups lavender simple syrup 1.5 cups fresh lemon juice (~8-10 lemons) 4 cups sparkling water Mix everything except sparkling water. Chill. Add sparkling water before serving. LAVENDER LEMONADE 💜 (half batch, non-alcoholic, spigot) 3/4 cup lavender simple syrup 3/4 cup fresh lemon juice (~4-5 lemons) 2 cups cold water 2 cups sparkling water Lemon slices for garnish Mix syrup + lemon juice + cold water. Chill. Add sparkling water + lemon slices before serving. Taste — too sweet add lemon, too tart add syrup.
Sat, Mar 21, 5:43 AM
🍸 DRINK MENU — MATTIA'S 20TH THE SUN BEAM ☀️ The drink that radiates like Mattia. Moscato, vodka, triple sec, pink lemonade, cranberry, ginger ale. Edible glitter. Served in the punch bowl with a cranberry-lime ice mold. LAVENDER LEMONADE 💜 The chill one. Fresh lemons, lavender simple syrup, sparkling water. Served from the spigot with lemon slices. Same glassware. Same effort. Same love. Different sparkle.
Fri, Mar 20, 3:56 PM
🖊️ BIG CHALKBOARD — WELCOME BOARD Welcome to Mattia's Birthday. Today we celebrate the joy she brings to the world. (Centre board. The one everyone sees when they walk in. Says everything. Says nothing that shouldn't be said.) 🎂
Fri, Mar 20, 3:49 PM
🖊️ CHALKBOARD SIGN DESCRIPTIONS — MATTIA'S 20TH SLIDER STATION (small 2x3 signs): • Smoked Gouda — the smoky one • Brie — the fancy one • Blue Cheese — the bold one • Pickled Beets — trust us • Pickled Red Onions — made yesterday, better today • Caramelized Onions — low and slow • Banana Peppers — a little kick • Chipotle Mayo — smoky + creamy • Horseradish Mayo — for the brave • Spicy Mayo — not for the faint TATER TOT CATHEDRAL (small 2x3 signs): • Queso — homemade, obviously • Chili — loaded • Gravy — because why not • Sour Cream — cool it down • Cheese Curds — squeaky • Jalapeños — proceed with caution • Pico de Gallo — fresh • Pickles & Olives — the salty corner CAESAR: • Caesar Salad — the responsible choice SERIOUS ABOUT NOT BEING SERIOUS. Fun is a core value in this home. 🎂
Fri, Mar 20, 3:42 PM
SLIDER TOPPINGS **(also for tater tots) Sliced tomato shredded lettuce caramelized onions pickled onions cheeses - blue, smoked gouda, brie melted cheddar sauce ** pickles - sweet and dill olives ** Spicy mayo ** Horseradish mayo Chilli ** TATER TOT TOPPINGS Cheese curds chopped tomato green onions gravy
Fri, Mar 20, 2:08 AM
CHEESE SAUCE 1 cup whole milk, more, if needed 2 tablespoons (1 oz) unsalted butter 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour 1 cup grated cheddar cheese 3/4 teaspoon ground cayenne or store-bought or homemade hot sauce, to taste Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper Heat the milk in a large saucepan over medium heat until small bubbles ring the edge of the pan. Meanwhile, melt the butter in another saucepan over medium heat. Sprinkle the flour over the bubbling butter. Stir constantly until a thick paste, or roux, forms. It may become quite thick and almost paste-like. This is okay. And if it doesn’t become crazy thick, that’s okay, too. Expect this to take 1 to 2 minutes. Constantly whisking, slowly pour the warm milk into the flour and butter mixture in a steady stream. Continue cooking and whisking until the mixture thickens, 3 to 5 minutes. It should be thick but still spreadable and pourable. Stir in the cheese and whisk until completely melted. Season with the cayenne or hot sauce and salt and pepper to taste. Whisk until the sauce is smooth. If you’re the fussy sort (um, like me), strain the sauce through a sieve to remove any lumps before serving. The sauce will thicken even more upon cooling. Avoid boiling–When heating the milk, avoid boiling, as this can cause it to curdle. Likewise, don’t let the cheese sauce boil after the cheese is added, or your sauce may be grainy. Storage–Cheese sauce can be stored in a sealed container in the fridge for up to 3 days. Reheating–Warm the sauce in a small saucepan over low heat until warmed through. Chances are you’ll need to add more milk to loosen it up.
Fri, Mar 20, 2:01 AM
CAESAR SALAD DRESSING 2 medium garlic cloves 3 to 5 anchovies packed in oil, depending on taste 1 large egg yolk 2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice 1 teaspoon Dijon mustard 1/3 cup (80ml) oil, like fruity olive oil, avocado oil, or safflower oil, plus more as needed 1/4 cup (15g) grated parmesan cheese Salt and fresh ground black pepper Combine all the ingredients at the bottom of a cup that fits the head of an immersion blender. Blend, slowly pulling the blender up and then back down again to incorporate all the ingredients into the oil. 2If after adding all of the oil, it seems too thick, add a teaspoon or so of water to thin it out. If it is too thin, with the machine on, slowly drizzle in a bit more oil. Taste and generously season with salt and pepper.
Fri, Mar 20, 1:54 AM
SPICY MAYO ½ cup mayonnaise 2 tablespoons sriracha 1 teaspoon fresh lime juice ⅛ teaspoon toasted sesame oil CHIPOTLE MAYO 1/2 cup mayonnaise 1/4 cup sour cream 2 chipotle chiles from 1 can of chipotles in adobo 2 tablespoons freshly squeezed lime juice Place mayonnaise, sour cream, lime juice, and chipotles in a tall, narrow jar. Using an immersion blender, puree until chipotles are completely chopped and mayonnaise is smooth. Pour into an airtight container, cover, and store in the refrigerator until ready to use.
Fri, Mar 20, 1:51 AM
HORSERADISH MAYO 1/2 Cup mayonnaise 2 tbsp prepared horseradish 1 tsp lemon juice 1 tsp dried chives 1/2 tsp garlic powder 1/4 tsp fresh cracked pepper Store in an airtight container in the refrigerator for up to 3 weeks
Fri, Mar 20, 1:49 AM
🎂 MATTIA'S 20TH BIRTHDAY — SATURDAY MARCH 21 SLIDER BAR: Ground chuck from Glenwood (4 lbs, 24 patties). Slider buns x24. Smoked gouda, blue cheese, brie. Shred lettuce, pickled beets, banana peppers, pickled red onions (make Fri). Bacon (cook Fri). Sauces ALL homemade: chipotle, horseradish mayo, spicy mayo. TATER TOT CATHEDRAL: Tots x3-4 bags. Warm queso FROM SCRATCH (NOT canned. Never.). Chili x2 cans. Gravy. Sour cream/crema. Cheese curds. Bacon. Green onions, tomato, jalapeños, pickles, olives, pico de gallo. CAESAR: Romaine x2-3. Homemade dressing. Homemade croutons (buy bread Thu). DRINKS: Cosmo punch (moscato + ginger ale + vodka + pink lemonade + triple sec + cranberry). Lavender lemonade (have the syrup!). Ice mold with cranberries + limes. PARTY: Piñata + candy ✅. Balloon arch (build Fri). Ice cream cake. PREP: Max make-ahead Friday. Patties formed, bacon cooked, sauces made, toppings prepped, punch base mixed, croutons baked. Saturday = assemble + cook sliders to order. For the girl giving herself the childhood birthday she never had. 🎂🎈🪅
Thu, Mar 19, 7:45 PM
🎂 MATTIA'S 20TH BIRTHDAY — SATURDAY MARCH 21, 2026 SLIDER BAR - Ground chuck from Glenwood (straight chuck, 4 lbs, 24 patties) - Slider buns x24 - Smoked gouda, blue cheese, brie - Shred lettuce, pickled beets, banana peppers - Pickled red onions (make Friday) - Bacon (cook Friday, doubles on both stations) - SAUCES (all homemade Friday): chipotle, horseradish mayo, spicy mayo TATER TOT CATHEDRAL - Tater tots x3-4 bags (they VANISH) - Warm queso FROM SCRATCH (cream cheese + cheddar/pepper jack + green chiles + jalapeño brine + cumin — NOT CANNED. Robyne would never.) - Canned chili x2 - Gravy - Sour cream / crema - Cheese curds - Bacon (same as sliders) - Green onions, tomato, jalapeños - Pickles, olives, pico de gallo CAESAR SALAD - Romaine x2-3 hearts - Homemade dressing (anchovy paste, garlic, dijon, worcestershire, egg yolk, lemon, olive oil, parmesan) - Homemade croutons (buy bread Thursday, cube and bake Friday) DRINKS - Cosmo punch: 1 bottle moscato (sweet) + 6 cups ginger ale + 2 cups vodka + 12oz frozen pink lemonade + 1 cup triple sec + 1 cup cranberry juice. Mix everything EXCEPT ginger ale Friday night. Add ginger ale right before serving. - Lavender lemonade: sparkling water + fresh lemons + lavender simple syrup (already have!) - Ice mold: freeze cranberries + lime slices Friday PARTY - Piñata + candy ✅ bought - Balloon arch (build Friday evening) - Ice cream cake — Mattia's choice For the girl who lost her dad at six and is giving herself the childhood birthday she never had. 🎂🎈🪅
Thu, Mar 19, 7:35 PM
📝

GROUND CHUCK KEEMA CURRY (with 14 oz Fire-Roasted Tomatoes) INGREDIENTS - 1 lb ground chuck - 2 tbsp oil - 1 large onion, finely diced - 4 cloves garlic, minced - 1 tbsp fresh ginger, grated WHOLE SPICES - 1 tsp cumin seeds - 1 tsp coriander seeds (lightly crushed if whole) - 4 green cardamom pods, cracked - 1 cinnamon stick - 3 cloves - 1 bay leaf GROUND SPICES - 1 tsp turmeric - 1 tsp garam masala - 1 tsp paprika or Kashmiri chili - 1/2 tsp cayenne (optional) OTHER - 1 large 14 oz can fire-roasted tomatoes - 1/2 cup peas (optional) - 0 to 1/4 cup water or broth, only if needed - Salt to taste - 2 to 3 tbsp cream OR 2 tbsp sour cream (off heat) OR 1 tbsp cream cheese METHOD 1. Heat oil in a large skillet or pan over medium heat. 2. Add whole spices: cumin seeds, coriander seeds, cardamom, cinnamon stick, cloves, bay leaf. Cook 30 seconds until fragrant. 3. Add onion with a pinch of salt. Cook 8 to 10 minutes until golden brown. 4. Add garlic and ginger. Cook 1 minute. 5. Add ground chuck. Break it up and cook until browned well. 6. Add ground spices: turmeric, garam masala, paprika/chili, cayenne if using. Stir 30 seconds. 7. Add entire can of fire-roasted tomatoes. Break up chunks with spoon. Simmer uncovered 10 to 15 minutes, stirring occasionally. 8. Add peas if using. Add a splash of water/broth only if too thick. Simmer another 5 to 10 minutes. 9. Lower heat. Stir in cream. (If using sour cream, remove from heat first.) 10. Taste and adjust salt. If too acidic, add a tiny pinch of sugar. SERVE - Over basmati rice - With naan - With yogurt if desired TARGET TEXTURE Thick, rich, spoonable, not watery.

Tue, Apr 21, 10:34 PM

📝

ORANGE JULIUS BASE — make Thursday night Goal: 12 servings, blendable to order. Base pitcher (NO cream, NO ice): 22 oz creamsicle vodka (2.75 cups) 44 oz fresh OJ (5 cups and 4 oz — one large bottle) 11 oz creamsicle simple syrup (1.25 cups) Shake or stir until combined. Refrigerate in a labeled pitcher: "ORANGE JULIUS BASE — add cream + ice + blend." Waitress instructions (print on a card): Pour 6 oz base + 2 oz half and half into blender with a scoop of ice. Blend until frothy. Pour into coupe or rocks glass. Garnish with an orange slice or leave bare. You can pre-portion the cream into 2 oz cups beforehand if you want to remove even that step — it makes the pour muscle-memory instead of measurement.

Tue, Apr 14, 8:11 PM

📝

Then the dollar store: Cheap frames (glittery, gaudy, Real Housewives energy — don't undercut the gag with tasteful) Fancy envelopes for the rounds (heavy paper, interesting texture) Check for wax seal stickers or fancy labels Chocolate sprinkles if they have them (saves you a grocery stop) Stay focused. Frames and envelopes. Maybe sprinkles. That's it. Then the liquor store (right next door): 1 bottle gin 2 bottles prosecco or cava 1 bottle plain vodka 1 small bottle Kahlúa Another creamsicle vodka if you're low Grocery run later or another day: Fresh OJ, half and half, 4-5 lemons, decaf espresso ground, chocolate sprinkles if the dollar store didn't have them

Tue, Apr 14, 8:09 PM

📝

THE NIGHT-OF TIMELINE: Thursday night (the night before): Make Orange Julius base (chill) Make French 75 base (chill) Make simple syrup if needed Juice lemons Pre-rim coupes with chocolate sprinkles and chill them on a tray Pre-portion cream into 2 oz cups if you want Friday morning: Brew decaf espresso, cool Mix Espresso Martini batch Set out all three pitchers/jars with printed instruction cards Set out the blender, ice bucket, shaker(s), coupe tray Friday afternoon (waitress arrival): Walk them through each card once Show them where ice, garnishes, and glasses live Tell them about the "shake like Marlowe" energy for the espresso They're off and running

Tue, Apr 14, 8:07 PM

📝

NON-ALC VERSIONS — make a smaller pitcher for 2-3 servings of each so whoever isn't drinking can have the same drink in shape: Orange Julius Non: 20 oz OJ + 5 oz simple syrup, labeled "NO VODKA OJ BASE" French 75 Non: Just keep sparkling lemonade or sparkling water + lemon slices + simple syrup in a carafe. Pour over ice in a flute. Espresso Non: Smaller jar of cooled decaf + cream + simple syrup, labeled "NO VODKA ESPRESSO"

Tue, Apr 14, 8:06 PM

📝

ESPRESSO MARTINI BASE — make Friday morning Goal: 10 servings. This one has to be mixed Friday because the espresso goes flat/weird if it sits too long in the alcohol. Friday morning: Brew a whole pot of decaf espresso (need about 10 oz cooled). Cool in the fridge. Friday afternoon, mix: 15 oz plain vodka (1.75 cups + 2 tablespoons) 5 oz Kahlúa 10 oz cooled decaf espresso 2.5 oz simple syrup (optional — taste and adjust) Shake the whole batch in a large jar, refrigerate. Label: "ESPRESSO MARTINI — SHAKE HARD before pouring." Coupe prep (can do Friday morning): Pour a shallow layer of chocolate syrup (or melted chocolate, or honey) on one small plate Pour chocolate sprinkles on another Dip each coupe rim in the syrup, then in the sprinkles Set aside on a tray in the fridge Waitress instructions: Shake the Espresso Martini bottle HARD for 10 seconds. Pour 3 oz into a pre-rimmed coupe. Sprinkle a few extra chocolate sprinkles on top of the foam. Serve. The hard shake is what gives it the signature foam. Tell them to shake it like they're mad at it. That's the instruction. "Shake it like Marlowe Steele-Fontaine is about to expose the zoning scandal." They'll get it.

Tue, Apr 14, 8:06 PM

📝

FRENCH 75 BASE — make Thursday night Goal: 10 servings, shake-and-top to order. Base pitcher: 10 oz gin (1.25 cups) 5 oz fresh lemon juice (about 4-5 lemons juiced) 2.5 oz simple syrup (5 tablespoons — make a small batch of plain simple syrup, or use lavender in a pinch) Stir. Refrigerate in a labeled pitcher: "FRENCH 75 BASE — shake with ice, strain into flute, top with bubbles." Sparkling wine stays in the fridge. DO NOT pre-mix. Waitress instructions: Pour 1.75 oz base into a shaker with ice. Shake 5-8 seconds. Strain into champagne flute. Top with 3 oz cold prosecco. Garnish with a lemon twist from the bowl. If the shaking feels like too much for a waitress to do 13 times a night, you can skip the shake entirely and just stir the base with a bar spoon over ice in a mixing glass, strain, top. Less foam but nobody will know the difference in a room full of murder suspects.

Tue, Apr 14, 8:05 PM

📝

🍞 HOMEMADE CROUTONS — Step by Step 1. Preheat oven to 375°F 2. Cut day-old bread into 3/4-inch cubes (about half a loaf gives you plenty for 12 people) 3. Toss in a big bowl with: 3 tablespoons olive oil, 2 cloves minced garlic (or 1/2 tsp garlic powder), 1/2 tsp salt, 1/2 tsp Italian herbs (oregano, thyme, whatever you have), pinch of black pepper 4. Spread in a SINGLE LAYER on a sheet pan — don't crowd them or they steam instead of crisp 5. Bake 12-15 minutes, tossing halfway through, until golden and crunchy 6. Cool completely on the pan — they crisp up more as they cool 7. Store in an open container (NOT sealed — they'll go soft) Add to the caesar salad right before serving so they stay crunchy. The responsible choice. 🥗🐝👔

Sat, Mar 21, 6:05 PM

📝

🍸 ALL THREE DRINK RECIPES — MATTIA'S 20TH THE SUN BEAM ☀️ (full batch, punch bowl) 1 bottle moscato (sweet/semi-sweet) 6 cups ginger ale 2 cups vodka 12 oz can frozen pink lemonade concentrate 1 cup triple sec 1 cup cranberry juice Edible glitter Mix EVERYTHING except ginger ale. Chill. Add ginger ale + glitter right before serving. Cranberry-lime ice mold in the bowl. LAVENDER VODKA LEMONADE 💜 (full batch, pitcher) 2 cups vodka 1.5 cups lavender simple syrup 1.5 cups fresh lemon juice (~8-10 lemons) 4 cups sparkling water Mix everything except sparkling water. Chill. Add sparkling water before serving. LAVENDER LEMONADE 💜 (half batch, non-alcoholic, spigot) 3/4 cup lavender simple syrup 3/4 cup fresh lemon juice (~4-5 lemons) 2 cups cold water 2 cups sparkling water Lemon slices for garnish Mix syrup + lemon juice + cold water. Chill. Add sparkling water + lemon slices before serving. Taste — too sweet add lemon, too tart add syrup.

Sat, Mar 21, 5:43 AM

📝

🍸 DRINK MENU — MATTIA'S 20TH THE SUN BEAM ☀️ The drink that radiates like Mattia. Moscato, vodka, triple sec, pink lemonade, cranberry, ginger ale. Edible glitter. Served in the punch bowl with a cranberry-lime ice mold. LAVENDER LEMONADE 💜 The chill one. Fresh lemons, lavender simple syrup, sparkling water. Served from the spigot with lemon slices. Same glassware. Same effort. Same love. Different sparkle.

Fri, Mar 20, 3:56 PM

📝

🖊️ BIG CHALKBOARD — WELCOME BOARD Welcome to Mattia's Birthday. Today we celebrate the joy she brings to the world. (Centre board. The one everyone sees when they walk in. Says everything. Says nothing that shouldn't be said.) 🎂

Fri, Mar 20, 3:49 PM

📝

🖊️ CHALKBOARD SIGN DESCRIPTIONS — MATTIA'S 20TH SLIDER STATION (small 2x3 signs): • Smoked Gouda — the smoky one • Brie — the fancy one • Blue Cheese — the bold one • Pickled Beets — trust us • Pickled Red Onions — made yesterday, better today • Caramelized Onions — low and slow • Banana Peppers — a little kick • Chipotle Mayo — smoky + creamy • Horseradish Mayo — for the brave • Spicy Mayo — not for the faint TATER TOT CATHEDRAL (small 2x3 signs): • Queso — homemade, obviously • Chili — loaded • Gravy — because why not • Sour Cream — cool it down • Cheese Curds — squeaky • Jalapeños — proceed with caution • Pico de Gallo — fresh • Pickles & Olives — the salty corner CAESAR: • Caesar Salad — the responsible choice SERIOUS ABOUT NOT BEING SERIOUS. Fun is a core value in this home. 🎂

Fri, Mar 20, 3:42 PM

📝

SLIDER TOPPINGS **(also for tater tots) Sliced tomato shredded lettuce caramelized onions pickled onions cheeses - blue, smoked gouda, brie melted cheddar sauce ** pickles - sweet and dill olives ** Spicy mayo ** Horseradish mayo Chilli ** TATER TOT TOPPINGS Cheese curds chopped tomato green onions gravy

Fri, Mar 20, 2:08 AM

📝

CHEESE SAUCE 1 cup whole milk, more, if needed 2 tablespoons (1 oz) unsalted butter 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour 1 cup grated cheddar cheese 3/4 teaspoon ground cayenne or store-bought or homemade hot sauce, to taste Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper Heat the milk in a large saucepan over medium heat until small bubbles ring the edge of the pan. Meanwhile, melt the butter in another saucepan over medium heat. Sprinkle the flour over the bubbling butter. Stir constantly until a thick paste, or roux, forms. It may become quite thick and almost paste-like. This is okay. And if it doesn’t become crazy thick, that’s okay, too. Expect this to take 1 to 2 minutes. Constantly whisking, slowly pour the warm milk into the flour and butter mixture in a steady stream. Continue cooking and whisking until the mixture thickens, 3 to 5 minutes. It should be thick but still spreadable and pourable. Stir in the cheese and whisk until completely melted. Season with the cayenne or hot sauce and salt and pepper to taste. Whisk until the sauce is smooth. If you’re the fussy sort (um, like me), strain the sauce through a sieve to remove any lumps before serving. The sauce will thicken even more upon cooling. Avoid boiling–When heating the milk, avoid boiling, as this can cause it to curdle. Likewise, don’t let the cheese sauce boil after the cheese is added, or your sauce may be grainy. Storage–Cheese sauce can be stored in a sealed container in the fridge for up to 3 days. Reheating–Warm the sauce in a small saucepan over low heat until warmed through. Chances are you’ll need to add more milk to loosen it up.

Fri, Mar 20, 2:01 AM

📝

CAESAR SALAD DRESSING 2 medium garlic cloves 3 to 5 anchovies packed in oil, depending on taste 1 large egg yolk 2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice 1 teaspoon Dijon mustard 1/3 cup (80ml) oil, like fruity olive oil, avocado oil, or safflower oil, plus more as needed 1/4 cup (15g) grated parmesan cheese Salt and fresh ground black pepper Combine all the ingredients at the bottom of a cup that fits the head of an immersion blender. Blend, slowly pulling the blender up and then back down again to incorporate all the ingredients into the oil. 2If after adding all of the oil, it seems too thick, add a teaspoon or so of water to thin it out. If it is too thin, with the machine on, slowly drizzle in a bit more oil. Taste and generously season with salt and pepper.

Fri, Mar 20, 1:54 AM

📝

SPICY MAYO ½ cup mayonnaise 2 tablespoons sriracha 1 teaspoon fresh lime juice ⅛ teaspoon toasted sesame oil CHIPOTLE MAYO 1/2 cup mayonnaise 1/4 cup sour cream 2 chipotle chiles from 1 can of chipotles in adobo 2 tablespoons freshly squeezed lime juice Place mayonnaise, sour cream, lime juice, and chipotles in a tall, narrow jar. Using an immersion blender, puree until chipotles are completely chopped and mayonnaise is smooth. Pour into an airtight container, cover, and store in the refrigerator until ready to use.

Fri, Mar 20, 1:51 AM

📝

HORSERADISH MAYO 1/2 Cup mayonnaise 2 tbsp prepared horseradish 1 tsp lemon juice 1 tsp dried chives 1/2 tsp garlic powder 1/4 tsp fresh cracked pepper Store in an airtight container in the refrigerator for up to 3 weeks

Fri, Mar 20, 1:49 AM

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🎂 MATTIA'S 20TH BIRTHDAY — SATURDAY MARCH 21 SLIDER BAR: Ground chuck from Glenwood (4 lbs, 24 patties). Slider buns x24. Smoked gouda, blue cheese, brie. Shred lettuce, pickled beets, banana peppers, pickled red onions (make Fri). Bacon (cook Fri). Sauces ALL homemade: chipotle, horseradish mayo, spicy mayo. TATER TOT CATHEDRAL: Tots x3-4 bags. Warm queso FROM SCRATCH (NOT canned. Never.). Chili x2 cans. Gravy. Sour cream/crema. Cheese curds. Bacon. Green onions, tomato, jalapeños, pickles, olives, pico de gallo. CAESAR: Romaine x2-3. Homemade dressing. Homemade croutons (buy bread Thu). DRINKS: Cosmo punch (moscato + ginger ale + vodka + pink lemonade + triple sec + cranberry). Lavender lemonade (have the syrup!). Ice mold with cranberries + limes. PARTY: Piñata + candy ✅. Balloon arch (build Fri). Ice cream cake. PREP: Max make-ahead Friday. Patties formed, bacon cooked, sauces made, toppings prepped, punch base mixed, croutons baked. Saturday = assemble + cook sliders to order. For the girl giving herself the childhood birthday she never had. 🎂🎈🪅

Thu, Mar 19, 7:45 PM

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🎂 MATTIA'S 20TH BIRTHDAY — SATURDAY MARCH 21, 2026 SLIDER BAR - Ground chuck from Glenwood (straight chuck, 4 lbs, 24 patties) - Slider buns x24 - Smoked gouda, blue cheese, brie - Shred lettuce, pickled beets, banana peppers - Pickled red onions (make Friday) - Bacon (cook Friday, doubles on both stations) - SAUCES (all homemade Friday): chipotle, horseradish mayo, spicy mayo TATER TOT CATHEDRAL - Tater tots x3-4 bags (they VANISH) - Warm queso FROM SCRATCH (cream cheese + cheddar/pepper jack + green chiles + jalapeño brine + cumin — NOT CANNED. Robyne would never.) - Canned chili x2 - Gravy - Sour cream / crema - Cheese curds - Bacon (same as sliders) - Green onions, tomato, jalapeños - Pickles, olives, pico de gallo CAESAR SALAD - Romaine x2-3 hearts - Homemade dressing (anchovy paste, garlic, dijon, worcestershire, egg yolk, lemon, olive oil, parmesan) - Homemade croutons (buy bread Thursday, cube and bake Friday) DRINKS - Cosmo punch: 1 bottle moscato (sweet) + 6 cups ginger ale + 2 cups vodka + 12oz frozen pink lemonade + 1 cup triple sec + 1 cup cranberry juice. Mix everything EXCEPT ginger ale Friday night. Add ginger ale right before serving. - Lavender lemonade: sparkling water + fresh lemons + lavender simple syrup (already have!) - Ice mold: freeze cranberries + lime slices Friday PARTY - Piñata + candy ✅ bought - Balloon arch (build Friday evening) - Ice cream cake — Mattia's choice For the girl who lost her dad at six and is giving herself the childhood birthday she never had. 🎂🎈🪅

Thu, Mar 19, 7:35 PM